<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>I Can't Change It All by EmieFaun</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29653581">I Can't Change It All</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmieFaun/pseuds/EmieFaun'>EmieFaun</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Where The Music Takes Me [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Tragedy, Break Up, Character Death, Developing Relationship, Grief/Mourning, Love, M/M, Past Relationship(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 21:47:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,384</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29653581</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmieFaun/pseuds/EmieFaun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"I came to say goodbye."</p>
<p>************************</p>
<p>Three boys, two loves, one ending.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ishimaru Kiyotaka/Kuwata Leon, Ishimaru Kiyotaka/Oowada Mondo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Where The Music Takes Me [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2179095</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I Can't Change It All</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi there!</p>
<p>So I've been getting an awesome challenge from a mysterious anon on my Tumblr asking me to react to a song. And I thought I would post them here as well, since my writing is never short. And hey, they might get more views!</p>
<p>This is the first in the series. I'll be adding the second pretty much immediately. I may slightly edit from my Tumblr upload too - especially if I notice typos or think something could be worded better...</p>
<p> Please note tags for potential trigger warnings.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="">
  <p>“I’m here to say goodbye.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The rustling of leaves in the whistling breeze is the only sound after he’s gotten those words off of his chest. Words that have been building for months and months. Words that he’s spent night after night contemplating. Words that he honestly never thought he would say to the boy in front of him.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>But he has to. It’s time. It’s been time for far too long.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I can’t…I can’t keep doing this.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He could. He knows he could if he really wanted to. And a part of him <em>does </em>want to; a part of him wants to hold on tight and never let go. But there’s an even bigger part of him that doesn’t because it’s just not fair on anyone if he does. Not on him, the boy opposite him, or…</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“There’s someone else.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>It’s no secret. He’s always been a terrible liar after all. They both know that there’s been someone else in the picture for a while now. And yet they skirted around the issue, kept up this silly game because they were scared of dealing with the truth.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>And now here it is. Out in the open, no more dancing around the problem. He’s finally going to deal with this head on and deal with whatever comes next.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He lifts his eyes from the ground, seeing the boy he loves staring back at him. He’s always been so beautiful, always had this <em>aura </em>that captivates whoever he’s around, always had a smile that feels like it takes his breath away. And today is no exception; he’s still smiling that smile even though his heart is breaking.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Aren’t you going to say anything?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“What d’you want me to say?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Something. Anything. I don’t really know.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He thinks he can hear a soft hum, a gentle intake of breath, but it’s easily confused with the wind that whips around them. Trapping them both in this bubble of sorrow and regret and heartache. He can see the fire in his lover’s eyes, burning just as bright as they’ve ever done. And he knows that the spark still burns within his own heart and isn’t sure if it will <em>ever</em> stop burning.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I love you.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Three words. That’s all it’s ever taken to rock his world; shake it up and turn it upside down. All those years ago, when love was all that mattered, he could fall asleep to them as they were whispered along his skin in touches so delicate. But those touches have been missing for so long, this feeling lost with time as things just spiralled out of control.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“It’s okay if you don’t anymore.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I do.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Because it’s true. He <em>does</em> love him. He will <em>never</em> <em>stop</em> loving him. But love just isn’t enough anymore. Not <em>this </em>love. This love has changed, changed from pure to obsessive. And obsession is no way to live; it chokes and slaughters, rips and shreds, blinds and deafens to anything else good in the world.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>But he hasn’t forgotten what it felt like before. Back in the days when it was good. The stolen kisses, the racing hearts, the butterflies and the giggles. He remembers them all vividly, longingly, desperately. If only they could go back to those days.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“But you love <em>him</em>.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He does. The love that he once felt has broken through once again, gasping for breath after years of drowning. It’s intense and it’s electrifying and it’s raw and it’s <em>beautiful</em>. It’s everything that he’s needed for so long, everything he’s so frightened of feeling.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Because this love is not for the boy in front of him. It’s for someone new.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I do.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Good. I’m glad you see that now.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He nods, trying to blink away the tears that flood, trying to dislodge the lump that’s digging into his throat. He knew this would be hard. He knew this would hurt. And some selfish part of him hoped that he would be met with anger because anger is something that he can understand.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>But this compassion, this acceptance of the end, this is <em>awful</em>. It turns his stomach and burns his lungs; the nasty habit of familiarity screaming at him to take it all back. To keep living in the hollow shell that he’s become.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Why does this hurt so much?” he chokes, barely able to form the sentence.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Because it’s right.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I wish it wasn’t.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Me too.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>It’s coming to the end now. The time where he needs to turn around and walk away. Move on from the boy that’s held his heart captive for so long. Learn to live again. Learn to be free. Because this boy can’t help him anymore.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I love you.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I know.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I’ll never forget you.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I know.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He steps forward, closing the distance between them. And for just a second, they’re teenagers again. Falling in love slowly, sweetly, a lifetime of happiness ahead of them. As he looks into his eyes for the last time, as the love that radiates from them washes over him, he can’t help but smile as his eyes slide shut. His fingers lift, hovering oh so close to his cheek, wondering if he should dare let himself fall again…</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Taka?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Mondo’s voice breaks the spell and his eyes fly open with a gasp. The boy in front of him has gone, vanished into thin air. His hand hovers over nothing so instead it drops heavily onto the smooth marble surface below. His lungs stutter as tears overtake him, his final farewell snatched away just as cruelly as it was five years ago.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Babe.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Taka looks up to see Mondo, stood beside him with a sad smile. He is <em>so </em>in love with him, hopelessly and passionately. Mondo’s a good man, the best man, and he deserves the world. Taka has never felt like he could give it to him. Not while he’s still haunted by a lost love.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“It hurts.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Yeah.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I miss him.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Mondo’s hand brushes against his cheek, cups his jaw the way that only his hands have been able to do. His eyes burn with a fire; one so similar to the one of his past and yet different. And Taka realises that breathing feels just that little bit easier now that he’s here.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I’ll be here, okay? When ya see his face in yer dreams. When ya hear his voice in the crowd. When missin’ him stops ya from breathin’. There’ll be bad days and there’ll be worse days. An’ we’ll take each one together. No matter how hard it gets. But I hope I can give ya more and more good days. An’ I hope that I can take away the pain, even if it’s just fer a while.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The smile that forms on Taka’s lips surprises him. It’s wet and sad and happy and confused and all kinds of emotions. But it’s for Mondo. Only for Mondo. And it’s now that he realises that even though it hurts, even though it kills, he will heal. <em>Time</em> will heal him. And this is the start of their new chapter together.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I love you, Mondo.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I love ya too.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>And so he tells himself that that’s it. He takes one last breath and walks away. His fingers swim against Mondo’s larger palm, a sensation he still needs to get used to. But right in this moment, it feels right. It feels perfect.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>They’re almost at the car when Taka’s feet stop moving. He feels Mondo follow suit, giving him time to do whatever he needs to do, fingers squeezing gently as if to say ‘it’s okay’. And all he needs to do is have one last look. One last moment. One last goodbye.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>There in the distance, sat atop the marble headstone they’ve left behind, a redheaded boy smiles at him. His blue eyes are full of tears, cheeks streaked with those that have already fallen. And as Taka stares back, the boy’s face crinkles with a heart-breaking joy; waving at him as his lips whisper words that are lost on the wind.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>But he doesn’t need to hear them. He knows just what they are. And as his childhood love fades away, never to return, Taka finally says the words he never got to say.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Goodbye, Leon.”</p>
</div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If you would like me to consider a song for this challenge, please send it through to me @emiefaunwrites on Tumblr. I will be going into this with no particular ship in mind, but expect Ishileon and Ishimondo for sure. </p>
<p>Thanks for reading! Much love x</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>